


I am What I am

by ItspronouncedJulia



Category: Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Codependency, F/F, Lesbian Relationship, Lesbians, Toxic Relationship, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9522452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItspronouncedJulia/pseuds/ItspronouncedJulia
Summary: Natasha had a habit of fucking things up for Yelena.





	

“The apartment looks nice.” Were the first words Natasha had to say to Yelena in over a year and a half since leaving her alone in a wrecked apartment with a whole bunch of emotions that Yelena didn’t know how to deal with.

Yelena slowly shut the front door behind her and made her way to the kitchen watching Natasha carefully as she made her way to the fridge. The redhead was propped up in the armchair that use to be hers with a beer in one hand,  the remote in the other and a football game playing on the flat screen tv.

This picture was startlingly close to the one that Yelena use to come home to when she went shopping late at night and Natasha would finally drag her ass home from whatever mission the Americans had sent her on. If Yelena closed her eyes and counted to ten she might be able to forget the past year without Natasha.

Her training certainly would allow Yelena to do it. Wipe out every emotion she’s been suffering through in Natasha’s absence and start anew. If that was indeed something Natasha wanted. Yelena couldn’t claim to know who her little Russian was anymore, in fact she was beginning to come to the bitter realization that she probably never had. Which of course meant that Natasha had to pop back up in her life to make everything confusing.

Just when Yelena thought she was figuring everything out here came Natalia Romanova to throw a wrench in that belief. If that wasn’t the story of their whole damn relationship Yelena wasn’t quite sure what else was.

“It took a lot of work to cover up those bullet holes, a lot of money to replace those plates and the furniture we tore through.” Yelena said softly swallowing the million things she was tempted to say. How funny all of those things Yelena had promised herself she would tell Natasha if she ever saw her again. All the nasty truths she knew would cut her sweet down to the bone and give Yelena some satisfaction in hurting her beloved one more time.

Now that Natasha was here Yelena could see could feel really that she didn’t have the heart to do it. A fact that scared the tiny blonde. There was never a time in her life when she didn’t mind or even get pleasure out of hurting other people.

Was this growth?

“It’s also not the same apartment or the same city or really any of the same furniture except for my chair, did you save this just for me?” Nat asked.  

“Did you come back for the armchair?”  Yelena was aware how tense she sounded. She had been putting away her food at a snail's pace well trying her best to control her breathing. Trying to relax herself even if it was just by a little. It wasn't working in the slightest.

Yelena maybe growing slightly but she still had the urge to tear Natasha’s perfect face apart. The nerve to just show up in her apartment and sit around like she owned it. She had even opened one of the good beers she had been saving for a special occasion.

“No, I figure you would have destroyed it once I left.” Natasha hummed propping her heels up on Yelena’s brand new coffee table.

“Get those dirty shoes off of my coffee table,” Yelena scolded hurling a tomato at her sweets head. Of course Natasha easily caught it, as Yelena expected and didn’t even bother to take her feet off of the damn table. They sat in an uneasy silence as Yelena finished putting away her groceries and began to wipe off the countertops and stovetops and even the sink because she had to do something with her hands that wasn’t strangling Natasha.

“Was it cold out there without me?” Yelena finally found the nerve to ask. Natasha was giving the tv a one thousand mile stare and Yelena had to wonder where she was at the moment. Where they were at the moment if they even were a ‘they’ if Yelena even wanted that to be thing if that was what Natasha was here for.  

“Freezing,” Natasha said softly. Yelena wondered if it was terrible of her to find that answer very satisfying.

“I bet it was really easy to believe them when they told you they would accept you flaws and all. They don’t even know one tenth of your story do they?” Yelena hummed leaning up against the countertop, head in hand and not even trying to hide the smug smile stretching out across her face. She didn’t miss the way Nat flinched at her words.

Yelena was still angry at her love but hearing how she had suffered without her was lightening her mood ever so slightly.

“Not many know one tenth of the story. You're one of the lucky few, that’s probably the problem.” Natasha grunted causing Yelena to laugh bitterly.

“And now you wanna come into the warmth. Don’t you?” Yelena said thoughtfully as she pushed herself off the counter and made her way over to the redhead. She wondered what she looked right now.

Like a fool? Or maybe a dream? Or maybe just a knock off? Either way Yelena slipped into Nat’s lap and cozied herself up to the Black Widow.  

“You sound so corny when you talk like that.” Natasha pointed out wrapping her arms around the tiny blonde tightly. Yelena rolled her eyes and bumped her nose against Nat’s already making her decision. Hell her decision had already been made when she had walked through that door and saw Natasha sitting there waiting for her.“Will you take me back?” She asked softly sounding impossibly young and timid. How unlike Natasha that was.

“Darling,” Yelena drawled out covering her words in a thick Russian accent she had lost years ago. “I am what I am and I wouldn’t be myself if I wasn’t with you.” Yelena said the words scaring the hell out of herself as she said them.


End file.
